As I sit here and think about this picture that I took while in Cail it occurs to me how much mercy God really has on me. Now that Ryan is back, I'm having a hard time dealing with some things that wasn't so hard while he was gone. If something stressed me out, I could just go to God and not have to worry about Ryan or his feelings or anything. Now, it seems as if I'm getting less spiritual and depending more on Ryan to solve my problems.
God really carried me the whole 6 months while Ryan was gone. With all of Ryan's medical problems, I really learned how to depend on God with my whole heart. And, now that God has "proven" to me that he really does answer prayers by sending Ryan home.... I feel like I don't have to ask God for any more "proofs", but yet I feel empty.
I'm sure most of you have read what Ryan has said about me on his myspace site and you thought that I was Darth Vader or some evil villan from hell... which in reality I was. But, with him home, I guess I feel like I want him involved in all of my feelings and thoughts that I share with God.
Oh, first year of marrage.... How lovely and sweet it is.
3 comments:
emily, God wants you to look to ryan as the head of your earthly family. take your concerns to God together.
boy, that sounded way too simplistic, but i think you know what i meant...
oh, yes, the first year of marriage and trying to figure out how it all works . . . especially since you were apart for six months of it! readjusting will take time i'm sure . . . it's a scary and awkward thing . . . but you two have so much faith, i know you'll make it.
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